the sixth stage of grief

over the course of my four years in cedar, i have experienced the whirlwind of the five stages of grief. the timeline is as follows:

2022: denial
2023: anger
2024: bargaining and depression
2025: acceptance

but there is something else i have begun to see emerge from within the unreachable depths of my soul. it's something dark yet hopeful, motivating yet unsettling. 

see, let me give a background.

i have changed over the years. physically, mentally and psychologically. i have experienced things that have contributed to my life in the countless ways possible. i may not be as hardworking and work-addicted as i was in primary six, but the tables have turned in my final lap around the track of worksheets, classes and school. i was naive to believe that i would somehow manage to stick the landing in my academics and trust me it was the worst misconception in my life. 

the sixth stage of grief, people call it. 

revenge.

i'm back and i'm ready for whatever comes my way. i'm gonna finish this year off with a bang. i'm gonna be the best version of myself. i'm gonna show everyone i'm capable of being independent regardless. and this is the year i do so. i don't care if people say i'm irresponsible, because i know what i'm doing.

the grand plan has only just begun with my first weighted assessments. 

why else do you think i improved? 

my academic records and achievements have quadrupled. i have more learning experiences and accomplishments. the list will go on, and that's an oath i have sworn myself to since my new year's resolutions. academic weapon, sure. but i'm doing whatever i'm doing for myself. i don't care if i'm academic topper or not, i'm trying my best and putting in all i've got, even more than that. if people don't believe that then it's their problem. 

my accomplishments include national camp 2024, ydsp world of science 2025, syf distinction and honourable mention in art, it goes on. even a bachelor's degree in carnatic music. and people still say i don't have experience? wow. let's see, leadership and service? check: founding of my organisation yarn for a cure, which has gained some income and is supported by the youth corps, plus volunteer hours in blossom world society. i have entrepreneurship skills as well, i hold crochet classes for people in my residences during the holidays. i have done research, twice if you count both mathematical and scientific. if debate is required, i'm in for vca mun.

see, i told you my grand plan is working. i'm becoming an all-rounder.

and you can Ke Belakang Pusing out of here if you don't believe it, and watch me make live my life the way i want it, because i want the best for myself.

put the 'perse' in 'persevere'.

-asmita