you got this!

i'm also going to remain anonymous. to the person who wrote the "lights camera smile" blog, tysm. i was studying jn and after reading that blog, i got the motivation to study more. even tho i'm not exactly like most of you and i got my future "planned", i still face the same stress that y'all do. meeting my expectations, my parent's expectations, or even surviving in the rough seas of getting enough marks to not be demoted next year. 

i have so much built-up pressure inside me, 

my sanity is like glass. 

and it's slowly...

painfully...

cracking. letting the pressure seep out slowly.

but not in a good way. for every drop lost, i gain ten more, a hundred, a thousand. 

until the glass breaks.

i am that "keep on smiling" person everyone sees in school, taking in everyone's rants and not letting anyone listen to mine. 

why? because i feel that it would send the listener to therapy.

i am that one person who puts up a brave front and tries to act normal, not be called as "pick-me" or "attention-seeker".

i have been ostracised once, and it was...

bad

painful

dreadful

deadly for my mental health.

so all i just do is gather myself up, pick up the smithereens of broken glass with every piece painfully excruciatingly piercing my fingers. and use the blood as glue to repair my already-cracking sanity.

reciting saying over and over again chanting praying.

"i got this. two steps forward, one step back."

always remain ahead. always automatically know what the teachers are saying. always be the top dog. everyone would love to see you fail justkeepongoingbecause NO ONE CARES FOR YOUR SUCCESS.

but how about me? what do i do?

exactly that. the code is that i got this. the message is encrypted.

study beforehand. link the lesson to what you have read or seen before. do not care about anyone else's failures, instead investigate their successes. how they became successful, what level you are on compared to them. block every hater out of your life. persevere. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CARES FOR YOUR SUCCESS.

it's all up to you. either you use the key, or you don't. your choice.

the key is obvious.

"you got this! :')"