hiraeth

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hiraeth is such a pretty word don't even ask why idk how to explain 🎀🎀

YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST DAY EVER. don't even ask why bc this too idk how to explain 🎀🎀

but it was the best day ever. Training went SO well. and then i came home feeling really happy but i had post-Training depression ofc. ptd! then aft i showered and ate dinner i went to sleep and i had such a good dream ok idk what it was but it was such a happy dream and i woke up to a sick feeling in my stomach then it took me a while to realise that i was actually really sad that the dream was over. and the thing is i don't even remember what the dream was but the happiness i felt in the dream was still there?? i fail to comprehend. AND I WAS FRUSTRATED BC I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS HAPPY. and im sad i cant be that happy again. it was like a super duper happy dream BUT IDK WHAT IT WAS. but im sad that i cant feel the same way again. it was such a nice feeling im not even kidding.

im gonna search for a word to describe this feeling bc if there are words like anemoia and hiraeth there HAS to be a word for this.

OH. THE WORD IS DESIDERIUM.

yes i have a dangerous case of desiderium for yesterday. idk if im even using the word right but you get the point right 🎀🎀

but anyw i can't be like this for the rest of today bc guess what? CHEM WA2 IS TMR. im not ready i need to study.. and practise bc i can't apply wtv KNOWLEDGE i have in qns even if my life depended on it. so im very scared.

update on 11/04/2024: chem was absolute trash i want to defenestrate myself thanks I'VE NEVER DONE A PAPER SO TRASHILY IF THAT'S EVEN A WORD BUT I CAN'T FIND ANY OTHER WORD TO DESCRIBE IT. this is foreshadowing my downfall in english as well bc my vocabulary is rotting in the deep dark depths of shakespeare's coffin but back to chem WHAT WAS THAT BRUH half my class migrated to the toilet and began sobbing and hugging each other it was miserable and wholesome at the same time i was in the toilet too with yogalakshme balamurugan i hope this does not happen again. hope all the other papers go well. if not AT LEAST BETTER THAN CHEM. i wasn't lying when i said i can't apply concepts even if my life depended on it. future sec 3 kids i genuinely hope you do well in chem. i am wholeheartedly rooting for you! trust.

then there's phy wa2 on friday.

mt wa2 is due on friday as well. (i forgot about it shhhh)

and THEN there's also hw i need to complete by tmr.

but iw to just forget everything and stay happy.

but i can't do that 🎀🎀

im just happy wednesday is a public holiday LOLSIES (im not laughing)

ok anyw byee ill spend my last few minutes of eating breakfast being happy before i actually start on my work

time check: 1126

- sam

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